dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party