I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"