WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised