Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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