My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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