did you get engaged???
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
