it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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