He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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