Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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