sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I FOUND THE LEGS
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
