Betty ford says i'm here all night
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Let's paint friendship bongs
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
