his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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