yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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