my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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