There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
