His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
