____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
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