i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
As shirtless as possible
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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