You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
