It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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