those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Randomize
