I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
the day after is always just damage control
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
