And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
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he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Randomize