if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Randomize
