This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
