Im at strip club and am horny
we have officially lost it.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
