I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
