Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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