Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
