...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
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