It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
