Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
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