Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
