I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
