I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
another moral hangover. fuck.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
