I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
