how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Your cock deserves a montage
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
