Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
