It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I smell like Dick and happiness
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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