I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
