so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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