Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
foreskin is a definite game changer
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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