So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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