so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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