Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
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