My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
