Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Randomize
