i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
