We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
