I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
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Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
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I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
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