O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
