Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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