is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
