You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
