Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
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