We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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