Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
