i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
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