Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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