I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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