Old men and throwing up are my life now.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
