Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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