I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
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Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
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They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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